I want someone out there to read my work and tell me I am publishable. Someone to tell me my work is viable. Worthy of being elevated from the great unwashed massed of the unpublished to the hallowed all mighty halls of The Agented and Published.
The problem with this is I have received the odd compliments and from people I don't think would bother to flatter me if they didn't have too. Really the problem is I lack any confidence at all. It probably wouldn't matter if the greatest author on earth said to me "You are totally ready! Just finish that novel and it's sure to be a best seller!" I STILL wouldn't believe them. There isn't enough confidence in the world to matter if it is all external. It has to come from with in. And isn't that where we all fail. The creeping rot disease of doubt?
I fall prey to that more than anything, the crippling elf doubt that my words will never be good enough. Once in awhile people do tell me I'm good. That my work is smooth and engaging. But there is the constant inner nagging doubt that whispers to me they are just blowing smoke.
My only solution is slog onward and hope for the best. Go forward and hope I'm not wasting yet more time. I feel like I wasted my whole life on doing all the wrong things and now I'm running out of time if I ever want to be published.
I sincerely hope this isn't the case.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
STOP REWRITNG THE FIRST CHAPTER
So many authors I've come across write, rewrite, and rewrite some more the first chapter. Or the first three, or five. And then their novel stops. Progress is not made.
There is no way to finish a book like this! There is some issue holding them back from moving forward and I'm sure it varies from person to person. But if you find your self doing this STOP.
I don't even re-read my WIPs as I write them. All that editing. all that futzing- that's for the END. That's for the next draft.
Now I do need to look things up in the manuscript from time to time, a last name I forgot, a street name, things like that. But I never spend too long reading. I find what I was looking for, or not, and then I go back to writing the scene I'm working on.
If you are one of the chronic re-writers STOP! Find a rewriting sponsor and get them to browbeat you into continuing your manuscript. Find a writing buddy and submit to them only new words- NO REWRITES.
Many will plead- it needs to be perfect before I move on! Oh Hell NO! You know why? You'll never make it perfect. It doesn't exist. Perfectionism is an excuse to not do anything. It is the most insidious of procrastination techniques. And I know this from experience. Perfectionism=paralysis. And paralysis will not finish a book either.
There is no way to finish a book like this! There is some issue holding them back from moving forward and I'm sure it varies from person to person. But if you find your self doing this STOP.
I don't even re-read my WIPs as I write them. All that editing. all that futzing- that's for the END. That's for the next draft.
Now I do need to look things up in the manuscript from time to time, a last name I forgot, a street name, things like that. But I never spend too long reading. I find what I was looking for, or not, and then I go back to writing the scene I'm working on.
If you are one of the chronic re-writers STOP! Find a rewriting sponsor and get them to browbeat you into continuing your manuscript. Find a writing buddy and submit to them only new words- NO REWRITES.
Many will plead- it needs to be perfect before I move on! Oh Hell NO! You know why? You'll never make it perfect. It doesn't exist. Perfectionism is an excuse to not do anything. It is the most insidious of procrastination techniques. And I know this from experience. Perfectionism=paralysis. And paralysis will not finish a book either.
Keeping up during the holidays
Holidays are a terrible interruption to the writer. Family, friends if you have them, shopping, cooking and eating all conspire to keep you from the computer. Or in my case sheets of lined loose leaf paper.
I keep to writing in the mornings when I'm freshest. I get up, make breakfast and write while I eat. Then the rest of the day is pent doing whatever I have to. Sometimes I can write a little at night once I put my pet bird Igor to bed. But that is rare, my brain is fried by the end of the day and writing becomes a chore.
But that little bit in the morning. I try for 45 minutes but frequently end up with less. BUT even with that little bit, 15 min some days, I can add to my manuscript. A paragraph, two paragraphs, if I'm lucky two or three pages.
As slow going as it is it will all add up in the end.
I keep to writing in the mornings when I'm freshest. I get up, make breakfast and write while I eat. Then the rest of the day is pent doing whatever I have to. Sometimes I can write a little at night once I put my pet bird Igor to bed. But that is rare, my brain is fried by the end of the day and writing becomes a chore.
But that little bit in the morning. I try for 45 minutes but frequently end up with less. BUT even with that little bit, 15 min some days, I can add to my manuscript. A paragraph, two paragraphs, if I'm lucky two or three pages.
As slow going as it is it will all add up in the end.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Mid Book Blues part 2- things go better
Well, I can't say I have all the answers but I though I would share what seems to have helped me keep going on Tea Times Three.
1- I skipped ahead to the good bits! I abandoned the linear scene I was stuck on and I skipped ahead to events I have a clearer picture of. That turned out to be the events leading up to the climax and then I'll probably go on through to the climax and then in draft 2 I'll try to patch it all together. I've never done this before but so far so good.
2- A cheer partner. I found someone to turn pages in to every day and we mutually cheer each other on. I'd like to find a few more of these but I'm not sure I want to go begging on AW... I want it to be someone either more published than I am or at least someone who's name I recognize from the forums.
And that's about it so far. I am NOT a believer in editing you work as you go. Forward, ever forward is my continued motto! And if the only way to go forward is to skip ahead so be it!
Believe it or not my MG book also continues slow forward momentum. I work on it less than T3 but it is a side project.
1- I skipped ahead to the good bits! I abandoned the linear scene I was stuck on and I skipped ahead to events I have a clearer picture of. That turned out to be the events leading up to the climax and then I'll probably go on through to the climax and then in draft 2 I'll try to patch it all together. I've never done this before but so far so good.
2- A cheer partner. I found someone to turn pages in to every day and we mutually cheer each other on. I'd like to find a few more of these but I'm not sure I want to go begging on AW... I want it to be someone either more published than I am or at least someone who's name I recognize from the forums.
And that's about it so far. I am NOT a believer in editing you work as you go. Forward, ever forward is my continued motto! And if the only way to go forward is to skip ahead so be it!
Believe it or not my MG book also continues slow forward momentum. I work on it less than T3 but it is a side project.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Writing called on account of ants...
God the slog continues! I have taken some advice from somewhere, I think it's one of the books I have on writing mysteries or not. I can't be sure. And I am skipping ahead in my bookity book Tea Time Three. I am working on the events leading up to the climax. All I can think is how am I going to cobble this into a cohesive whole during editing? It has to work out some how. And of course I HAVE to finish!
It is my great lament and constant refrain that I can't just pound out a book in the space of three months. How will I ever succeed at my snail's pace? How will I ever finish the fucking book? Why I can't I write 5 things at once and grind them out at say the pace of... I dunno James Patterson? He seems to have a lot of new releases all at once. Anyone else out there fast? Anyone else out there finish a novel in under 6 months time?
Crap. I just want to cry. I also work on my MG horror/mystery from time to time. Inventing as I go. Fingers crossed that any of this sees the light of day. I guess this is the point where writers with a support system get help.
Don't you just love how every famous author is super writing/crit group uber buddies with every other famous author? I don't. Just sayin.
I bought the brand new Dragon- the soft ware that types for you thinking I can catch up on some of the typing backlog I have. Turns out my 3 year old laptop doesn't have the memory to run it. My 3 yr old laptop also has hard drive issues and an 'S' key that is a pain in my ass.
And no, I haven't written in a week or more because every morning is spent vacuuming ants and puttying shut the holes in the wall they a boiling forth from. Then the rest of the day is spent vacuuming and finding the next tiny crack they are coming in from. Also vacuuming.
Sorry for the self-indulgent post. I'll try to do better next time.
In the mean time, please to enjoy a cute photo of one of my dollies taken yesterday.
Her name is Charybdis and she is Scylla's sister. She has fangs and little bat wings and hooved feet.
It is my great lament and constant refrain that I can't just pound out a book in the space of three months. How will I ever succeed at my snail's pace? How will I ever finish the fucking book? Why I can't I write 5 things at once and grind them out at say the pace of... I dunno James Patterson? He seems to have a lot of new releases all at once. Anyone else out there fast? Anyone else out there finish a novel in under 6 months time?
Crap. I just want to cry. I also work on my MG horror/mystery from time to time. Inventing as I go. Fingers crossed that any of this sees the light of day. I guess this is the point where writers with a support system get help.
Don't you just love how every famous author is super writing/crit group uber buddies with every other famous author? I don't. Just sayin.
I bought the brand new Dragon- the soft ware that types for you thinking I can catch up on some of the typing backlog I have. Turns out my 3 year old laptop doesn't have the memory to run it. My 3 yr old laptop also has hard drive issues and an 'S' key that is a pain in my ass.
And no, I haven't written in a week or more because every morning is spent vacuuming ants and puttying shut the holes in the wall they a boiling forth from. Then the rest of the day is spent vacuuming and finding the next tiny crack they are coming in from. Also vacuuming.
Sorry for the self-indulgent post. I'll try to do better next time.
In the mean time, please to enjoy a cute photo of one of my dollies taken yesterday.
Her name is Charybdis and she is Scylla's sister. She has fangs and little bat wings and hooved feet.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Thankful for...
Well, since Thanksgiving is what... a week? Less than that? I thought I'd post what I'm thankful for.
Of course I WISH I could say I'm thankful for an agent, or even "I'm thankful my book is finished" but that is not to be! Maybe next year!
Thanks for
1- My house. Hey, I have a roof over my head, a spanky new dishwasher arriving, and a place to keep my stuff
2- My lovebird Igor. He has a bad viral disease which he will never be rid of but the virus has retreated and he is happy and healthy and as obnoxious as any other lovebird and he makes me laugh everyday
3- My friends, the few I have are good for the most part ;)
4- My WIPs. I'm glad I have ideas. I'm glad I've stuck with them. I think they will do something in the world- fingers crossed!
5- My Mom who is super supportive
6- The gym- I love the gym. I try to go at least 5 days a week but even when I don't I'm lookin' good :)
7- My massive doll collection. I love these dolls! Some of you on AW may have noticed my new avatar. That is just one of the many dolls I own!
8-Cable TV- nuff said- I lurvs me TV
9- Netflix
10- Otaku USA- who pays me to read Yaoi!
11- The library- because it's full of books!
Of course I WISH I could say I'm thankful for an agent, or even "I'm thankful my book is finished" but that is not to be! Maybe next year!
Thanks for
1- My house. Hey, I have a roof over my head, a spanky new dishwasher arriving, and a place to keep my stuff
2- My lovebird Igor. He has a bad viral disease which he will never be rid of but the virus has retreated and he is happy and healthy and as obnoxious as any other lovebird and he makes me laugh everyday
3- My friends, the few I have are good for the most part ;)
4- My WIPs. I'm glad I have ideas. I'm glad I've stuck with them. I think they will do something in the world- fingers crossed!
5- My Mom who is super supportive
6- The gym- I love the gym. I try to go at least 5 days a week but even when I don't I'm lookin' good :)
7- My massive doll collection. I love these dolls! Some of you on AW may have noticed my new avatar. That is just one of the many dolls I own!
8-Cable TV- nuff said- I lurvs me TV
9- Netflix
10- Otaku USA- who pays me to read Yaoi!
11- The library- because it's full of books!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Deperately Seeking Writing Friends
Hello.
My name is Che and I'm a writer published in the field of graphic novels and comic books but nothing past a e-zine prose wise. I am looking for other writers to be friends with! This sounds easy right?
Well, not so much. I live in a small town you've never heard of and the nearest big city is again, probably one you've never heard of... There is one local author I'm friends with but we write different genres and she has no interest in mine.
So, like any other lonely person I turned to the Internet. LJ and forums and most recently Absolute Write, where I thought- At last! I will make friends!
But to be honest, it's not going so well. Everyone knows each other, especially in the YA Old People Writing for Teens thread where I hang out, look at everyone get agented and published and addressing each other by real world first names, and I slink away. The Children's Writing thread is friendly enough *waves*. But I still haven't made any lasting friends- yet.
So how do you do it? I hear stories of people making best friends on the interweb, meeting authors, getting mentors. Etc. And all of that seems to completely elude me.
I need someone to talk about writing with as of right now I have NO ONE. No sounding board, no one to shoot the bull with, no one to talk plot, and "I'm stuck right now" with.
I could go complain on the forums I guess, and I see people making the 'I'm stuck' posts once in awhile but what I want is not random strangers but focused help.
The lengths I have considered going to to get author/writer friends- I want to go to Clarion San Diego because maybe I could make friends there. But let's break this down- Clarion SD cots some $5000. All to make friends?! OR I was just looking at the Vermont College of Fine Arts Writing for Children and Young Adults MFA. What. The. Fuck. I don't have a degree in anything -art school drop out (not for the reasons your thinking either!) but seriously? Who the fuck GOES TO COLLEGE AS AN OLD PERSON JUST TO MAKE FRIENDS??
Ok. Complaints over.
Maybe someday right.
My name is Che and I'm a writer published in the field of graphic novels and comic books but nothing past a e-zine prose wise. I am looking for other writers to be friends with! This sounds easy right?
Well, not so much. I live in a small town you've never heard of and the nearest big city is again, probably one you've never heard of... There is one local author I'm friends with but we write different genres and she has no interest in mine.
So, like any other lonely person I turned to the Internet. LJ and forums and most recently Absolute Write, where I thought- At last! I will make friends!
But to be honest, it's not going so well. Everyone knows each other, especially in the YA Old People Writing for Teens thread where I hang out, look at everyone get agented and published and addressing each other by real world first names, and I slink away. The Children's Writing thread is friendly enough *waves*. But I still haven't made any lasting friends- yet.
So how do you do it? I hear stories of people making best friends on the interweb, meeting authors, getting mentors. Etc. And all of that seems to completely elude me.
I need someone to talk about writing with as of right now I have NO ONE. No sounding board, no one to shoot the bull with, no one to talk plot, and "I'm stuck right now" with.
I could go complain on the forums I guess, and I see people making the 'I'm stuck' posts once in awhile but what I want is not random strangers but focused help.
The lengths I have considered going to to get author/writer friends- I want to go to Clarion San Diego because maybe I could make friends there. But let's break this down- Clarion SD cots some $5000. All to make friends?! OR I was just looking at the Vermont College of Fine Arts Writing for Children and Young Adults MFA. What. The. Fuck. I don't have a degree in anything -art school drop out (not for the reasons your thinking either!) but seriously? Who the fuck GOES TO COLLEGE AS AN OLD PERSON JUST TO MAKE FRIENDS??
Ok. Complaints over.
Maybe someday right.
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